నాందేడ్ రాజారాం

this is how my grand pa was called
recently i went to nanded
to visit and pray at the SACHKHAND saab gurudwar
very long back my grand pa used to work in a cloth mill at nanded
i came to know
he flirted with a married sikh woman
her man was after him with his sword
and this man ran away to nizamabad.
As far as i know (he was dead when i was nine or so)
he was a nice man
he used to do meditation at exactly 8a.m.
and then he used to eat GINGER powder
he was diabetic
he was very particular about health
he always insisted on my father and baabais to exercise
he was a man of RSS.
when he was alive we used to celebrate KRISHNAASTAMI very grandly
"govindaa re gopaala
krishna aalaa re aalaa
gokulaath aanand jhaala "
we used to shout so much, so loud.
and the two, my grandpa and grandma were very well knit
I REALLY LOVED THEIR PAIR
they used to celebrate any festival with great devotion
her name was GANGU BAI
shes also dead 5 years back
My grandpa was not good at business
but he was a man of values
he took great care of my AWARA father
If any little remained of my father it is the guidance of grandpa
and my enduring mother.
when i was in NANDED i just tried to feel my grandpa
he was a poor man
this pair were so much carried away by INDIRA's "garibi hatao"
that when she was killed my grandma cried so much that her eyes became red
she did not eat for days
that was the faith of common people in leaders.
she did not cry that much even when one of my baabai died.
she was a beautiful woman married into a lifetime poverty.
ofcourse my grandpa looked almost like me,
but a bit stout.
he fondled me a lot
i remember a lot he used to carry me on shoulders
to watch any marathi films in PRABHAT TALKIES
if he were alive, when i was grown up
i would have taken him to watch the other kind of films
in the same theatre.
the only property he left over was a few books
which none of his sons were bothered about
they only complained their fathers poverty
and so i removed them all and owned them.,
my mother used to say when she was married into the BADANGE family
they were in a hut which filled with drainage water in rainy season
and how my father used to come running from DELHIWALA were he worked as cashier.
when there was fire at any place in the town.
and one time my father even decided to commit suicide when the mud wall of the bombay tile house they built collapsed. because he did not had money to rebuild it.
I REMEMBER
people used to carry their big RADIOS with great pride on the shoulders
and sometimes those radios used to be kept in leather bags with leather straps to hang on.
almost all roads were of mud
the councillors name was maruti rao
i know this much about politics
i remember this person with full white hair
there was a marathi medium school in the place
where now there is VITTALESWAR TEMPLE
it is only after the HANUMAN idol appeared at this place
my mother sent me to have darshan
it is then I WAS INTRODUCED TO GOD
and i was very my fascinated by the monkey god
GIVER OF STRENGTH
and ofcourse there were lot of problems in my home
and my innocent mother used to tell us to pray god TO
MAKE OUR FATHER GOOD
and i dont like people showing sympathy
because
when my father used to beat my mother in inebriated
or instigated condition
he was almost a ghost, bhooth
EVEN bhooth will feel insult
that rascal used to do boxing on her
with bare fists
YU KNOW even professional boxers wear glouses
this bastard used to beat his hard working woman so mercilessly
one time her mouth swelled so much
that she was unable to open mouth for almost three days
she did not brush, did not eat, and poor woman
SHE HAD NO OPTION EXCEPT TO WEEP SILENTLY
and it all started just before my birth
that is why she started SANTHOSHI MAA VRATHAM
and i was born to save her marriage
AND ... named SANTHOSH KUMAR
if i were a girl, this rascal was to divorce her.
AND
the people around my home only knew to show SYMPATHY
i hate plain SYMPATHISERS

on one SHIV RATRI day
our mother and we kids were on fasting
and we had only two rupees
i was sent to buy bananas and only half dozen small ones came
my mother used to stitch clothes even upto night 2 a.m.
but gradually 'giraak' reduced or stopped
because she was unable to deliver the clothes in time
due to ill-health or say because of beats
she used to do BIDIS which fetched only rs.6 for a full day work.
LIFE WAS TOO MUCH PAINFUL
you know
now i am crying by heart
LIFE WAS REALLY PAINFUL
this was what we got from an irresponsible, negligent father.
now they say my mother is suffering from some PSYCHIATRIC problems.
even now she does not blame that fellow
and we too become KIND
god, why are we this good.
actually he does not deserve any goodness
you know
one bad day he carried away the TV from our home
to his CONCUBINEs to entertain her
faalthu aadmi
and again one day he lifted me by ears, a small kid
lifted by ears
you know how much it pains
to throw
the mistake, i have done was watching TV in a neighbours home.
we lost most things with our grandpa.

kabhi, kabhi dil kholke ro lena bhi achha hotha hai
I came here to put something else.
and the story went to somewhere else
to come as tears and roll down

YOU KNOW "SAAGARA MATHANAM"
the ultimate aim of gods and demons was to get AMBROSIA
and they got KAALAKOOTAM
which the lord sanker consumed and became MAHA DEVA
"HAR HAR MAHADEVA, SHAMBO SHANKARA"
the same is the difference between the ordinary and MAHAATHMAs
the ordinary FEEL the happiness, sadness
whereas, Mahatmas are not affected by such things
they receive good or bad in the same manner.

you know
what MAHATMA BAPUJI said
"THE PURER THE SUFFERING, THE GREATER IS THE PROGRESS"

when my day started i did not had an idea
I am going to close it in tears.
AB DIL HALKA MAHSOOS KARTHA HAI

and here is a sloka from the GEETHA
"జ్ఞానేన తు తదజ్ఞానం యేషాం నాశిత మాత్మనః
తేషాం ఆదిత్యవాడ్ జ్ఞానం ప్రకాశయతి తత్పరం "
just as the knowledge of krishna chaitanyam destroys ignorance.
just as the sun brightens everything, will be the effect of a person rendered with the knowledge of the god."

om shanthi, shanthi, shanthihi ..
sarve janaha sukhino bhavanthu ..
loka samastha sukhino bhavanthu. .
PEACE BE UPON YOU
LOVE YOU